Thursday, 12 June 2014

Mother's 10 lessons for her autistic son......

There are some days when you sit back as a parent and sigh that heavy sigh. That heavy sigh is filled with the need to protect your little bundle of light from all the big grey clouds of this world. 

Many days I sit back and wonder how do I protect him from his first heartbreak, his first realization of what kind of world we're living in, the first "no" he hears from outside sources that tell him he "can't do it." How do I keep him safe and in my pocket so that nothing can taint of hurt my perfect little angel. I go through this lots. Especially with him. 

I remember first hearing a child tell him he was annoying. I remember feeling the heartbreak for him as I watched him smile and try to continue to play with the child. I teared up in the car away from his questioning eyes. I know kids will be kids but that doesn't make it any less difficult, especially when the reason the kid said he was annoying was because of the way he processes his environment. 

But what can you do, other than play as if no one else is in the room with you and your amazingly wonderful thinker. 

My husband is pro at that. Making their play seem like they found a candy hive at Disneyland. I know I can't protect him forever and that one day he might have to explain his reasoning to others who aren't in the know about such things. But for right now I'm his safety net 

I think that in this world, it really is an art to be different, and in the case of my son, he doesn't have to try. Which I admire about him. 

Every mother has things they wish to teach their kids. Here are 10 of mine that I hope I can instill into my little guy before he embraces an ever changing world of faces, structures, and textures. 

1. You weren't born to be like them. Don't think like them. Their ways don't always work or make sense. 

2. Autism is not a disorder or anything really other than a new way of processing a world that needs to slow down. 

3. Take the time to smell the flowers, feel the wind, taste the sweetness of life, observe nature, and listen to the birds. These things will always ground you. 

4. Don't let circumstances outside of yourself be the driving force behind your intention. You can do, and be anything you want to be. Nothing will ever stop you, as long as you believe in yourself. 

5. Don't let other's (including us) "should" on you. You know what is best for you.

6. When things get a bit dark remember these words. "I am in charge of how bright I shine."

7. Your sensory preferences are here for a reason. Not everyone has a built in self-regulating system. You are lucky to have it. Use it to your benefit when the world looks upside down and backwards.

8. It is always ok for you to come to us for anything, anytime of the night or day. You are our son and we love you more than we can possibly express. We are your parents and that is what being a parent means. We took this role with great pleasure and excitement and love and pledge to be that person for you. The person that teaches you, the person, that cares for you, the person, that no matter what you do will love you unconditionally until forever. We have your back and will always be a foundation for you to come back to. 

9. Always be grateful for who you are and what you have. If you can think of three things your grateful for each day you are golden. And yes we are more than grateful for you.

10. The answer to your happiness is not in any book, person, wallet, or possession. The answer to your happiness is yours alone, locked inside of you for you to know. No one can take that from you. And if there is one things I ever suggest to you it is this, If you decide to share your happiness with another always love unconditionally with an open heart and understanding mind and you will give a love that is more powerful than anything you can possibly imagine. And know that that is how we love you.

Well, everyone's asleep except I gotta make sleep a habit.

As always thanks for reading.

With Love and Gratitude,
Amber Jones

1 comment:

  1. wow amber that is a great way to look at things and a great thing ro teach your son your son has a amazing mom and dad keep up the great work you and your husband are wonderful parents and will continue to be