Deciding not to move our Autistic Child.......

 SO, last year we had decided we were going to move. Going back to school was the goal. And as we started the process of moving we started to question more and more why we were leaving such a great community. Our goal had been to move to B.C. to study Traditional Chinese Medicine and become Dr.s of TCM. As we started to move towards the goal we started to see our children off in the distance and immediately the plans got changed. Our children are the most important things in our lives as well as one another, we wont let anything act as a wedge in between any of us. So, we got organized and asked ourselves. "What do we really want?" And here's what we came up with...

I couldn't have put it better myself. We want freedom. Freedom from debt, freedom to travel, freedom to just pick up and go when we want to. So, we got organized and changed the goal. I'm already an artist and make some during the year. Will works as an IT. Not to shabby at all. And instead of accumulating $70,000 of school debt alone. We we'll only accumulate around $4,500. Much more manageable. We intend on taking the Multimedia Communications Program here at the college to become Web Designers, something that will allow us more freedom to travel. After that certificate program I will continue on to the Computer Support Technician Program so that I can work as on-call computer support when needed. All of this from the comfort of the place we are in now. 

Although the above mentioned things are important to us there is something else that stands above the rest. Two somethings to be exact.  The number one reason, without a doubt, the most important advantage in staying is that our son has all the support he needs, right here and both our kids will have the advantage from being in such a great community. 

Our son is so connected with the staff at the Child Development Centre and I'd hate to see him have to adjust to new staff and be away from us the majority of the day due to our schooling. 

And our baby girl is still so young. I want her to experience everything the Great North has to offer. 

Up here both kids can learn to hunt, bead, do traditional dancing with the Dance group we have up here, and glean from their heritage everything that is healing and good. Down south they would be further away from all of that. 

Do we feel bad giving up on our dream?

He was our first dream, and his sister was our second, and I couldn't imagine being away from them for more than 3 hours a day. They are our number 1. Any dream that would take that away or push it off into the distance is more like a nightmare. 

So, we're staying and I'm happy. Now the goal will be, to be at least one month down south during the winter to recharge the batteries. -40 with little sunlight can get a bit old after awhile, but the midnight sun on June 21st makes up for it. 

As always thanks for reading!

Love and Gratitude,

Amber Jones

Changing an autistic kid's room....lesson learned.

May look random but it was perfectly placed by a 3 year old and with reason. :-) Photographed by Keltanys.

Well, I learned something new about my Keltanys yesterday. He doesn't deal well with change. I guess that shouldn't surprise me really. Most kids on the spectrum don't deal with it so well. I also should have known, he is my kid and I don't deal with change well either.

I remember when we started to set up the bedroom for bringing Keltanys home from the hospital. I felt a bit of grief and just icky about the way things were changing so fast. It bummed me out. Kinda the same way I feel when someone springs a surprise visit on me or when plans change to quickly. It takes me a minute to adjust.

My son deals with it on a bigger emotional level. So, the story starts with stepping on a smurf. I was less than happy about the state of his room. He likes to make pockets of nests everywhere and often times if you move something in them while he's looking, he gets upset and puts it back. So, after stepping on jokey smurf I decided that it was time to clean his room and make it so that if he wanted his toys he needed to ask us for them. Mistake number one.

Regular toys that he has made friends with.....you don't take away.

So, we cleaned his room and got rid of some stuff that we know he doesn't play with anymore and put everything away. Unfortunately, where we had originally placed his toy ottoman was in a blind spot so he couldn't even see the thing. All the while he was at his Aunties not able to be part of the transition. Mistake number two. For me if something's changing I like to be able to see it happen or be the cause of the change, or be the organizer of it. I don't know what I was thinking not making him apart of it.

Anyway, we brought him home and he seemed ok that night but when the next day came we saw a vast change in behavior. He was super sensitive. Would cry if you looked at him funny and all the while would be in his room making a nest of the few items available to him.

And today has been even worse. When a change happens my son feels like he's lost some control since he doesn't process change very well yet. And I think he knows that in some small way. He'll sit there and be super upset if things change to fast that he just wants the person with him to be still as possible unchanging, unmoving, quiet and without will. Well, he's been mad at me for everything today. And when we were at therapy appointments today for him he let them know how upset he was. I cried a little with him knowing how hard it must be to be so little and feel like the world is falling apart. My heart kept breaking every time he wanted to see people be still and quiet. And it dawned on my quickly that if we are to make changes to his world we have to do 2 things

1. Have him help.
2. Keep something as a constant. Something that will always remain in his foundation so that when something changes he still has something to hang onto in the roller coaster of change.

So, lesson learned. We've given the toy ottoman back with the stipulation that he picks everything up when he's done. So far so good.

My heart still breaks thinking about it but I know for next time right. This has made me question some things regarding my going back to school. I think it might be OK for two years, but, a whole seven years with the intensity of the last five will be over the limit of time I'm willing to spend sporadically away from him. So, much needs to be thought of when it comes to getting him ready for this world. I'd rather spend my days getting to know every aspect of my Keltanys than go further into debt, and the other stresses that we create for ourselves.

Anyway, plans are under review and I have learned that change isn't easy for my boy. Better now than never!

Thanks for reading.

Always with Gratitude,
Amber Jones

Light Box!! And a sweet giveaway!

Well I thought I learned my lesson yesterday when I fell asleep blogging at this hour....apparently I didn't.

Anyway, I am pleased to announce that our light box tutorial is up and awaiting your views.  Here are some things you will need before you start this project.

Things you will need to make a light box...
1. A see through plastic bin
2. LED Battery operated lights
3. Parchment paper
4. Tin foil
5. Tape (scotch)
6. Scissors 
7. Coffee. lol

You can find the video link below in the P.S. section of this blog. 

You'll notice that because it is summer now (Yukon only really has two seasons..hehe) a lot of our videos will be shot outside. The reason?

Well, I guess i's time to say it. We are relocating for schooling purposes and want to capture as much of the Yukon as we can so why not make it a part of our vlogging. Our next stop is British Columbia for 7 years of crazy schooling, all to become a Dr. of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Yes it will be awesome! Yes we are insane. But if we weren't we wouldn't know what might be possible. It's a huge adjustment for our son but we plan on integrating him into the idea everyday to make the transition as smooth as possible. He like's his routine and will miss so many people he sees here, but if we don't repetitively teach them about change nothing can grow and, as result of that growth, change. 

A new feature to our blogging and vlogging will be talking about Keltanys' diet and what you can do about a fussy eater. Meal plans and great recipes will be included. I will also go over some holistic things that have helped our little guy. 

And last but not least....thhhhheeeeeee GIVEAWAY!!!

So, every month on the 19 we will have a giveaway. This month I will be giving away two aprons with some spiffy artwork on them. Both designed by me. All you have to do is Share this blog link on facebook, from our FindingK profile page, like it, and your name will be entered into the draw for a free Amber Walker designed apron. So, simple. Pictures of the aprons will be posted in a week when they're finished. 

Anyway, that's all I got for tonight. Today was a crazy busy day with my Son at the reigns. Have a good night all. 

With Mass Gratitude,
Amber Jones

P.S. The link for the light box tutorial. ENJOY!! 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNUebvwsxSs&feature=youtu.be

Would I change my kid if I could?

Would I change my kid if I could?

No.

Here's why....

In the three years he's been here I've come to know this great little firecracker who can put a smile on anyone's face. He is my life of the party kinda kid. Loving, funny, caring, and has great dimples. And in the midst of getting to know this kid, he stopped smiling as much, went silent and would only utter the word "Ta." Didn't want to be kissed, hugged, smiled at, etc, etc.

When we started to see this we were more curious about what was going on. I wasn't scared or devastated in the least. I have a couple people very close to my heart who have Aspergers. I just needed to know how to teach him. That's when all the intervention happened, when we knew he wasn't progressing the way society says "you should progress." Research began and a whole host of people that think the way we do, stepped in to help us figure out how Keltanys figures it out.

Now, we have a kid that is learning communication, is back to smiling, making eye contact, giving hugs (only when asked), loves rough housing, being outside, and hesitantly trying new things.

But if I were to take something away or "cure it" what would change. What would take it's place. There's nothing wrong with my kid. What happens when you fix something that doesn't need fixing. Well, sometimes you screw it up. Take it from me. I'm an artist and a perfectionist, I know these things.

I love my kid, speech impairment and all.

That's not to say that when I'm getting pegged in the head by toys, or when the chaos of tantrums unfold that I sit and go "Oh I just love these moments. Don't you sweet heart when the sun is out, people are smiling, and heavy objects are raining down from the hurricane our offspring is creating." No, I have a list of things to keep myself from losing my cool. Are there days when I feel like karma has turned it's eyes towards me. In those heated moments, yes. But everyone in their life feels that way at least once about something.

Life is how we perceive it. When Keltanys is happy, I'm happy, and when he's not I try to show him that no matter how crappy your day is you can still change it.

Distraction is key. "Hey, it's OK that Mommy accidentally screwed up you perfectly situated toys. Lets listen to your favorite song," is something you'll hear often in our house.

Now, I'll admit I've read stories of kids that are vastly different from Keltanys with a whole set of different and more challenging things they are experiencing. In all seriousness all I can say is namaste.

I know what I know. And I wouldn't change my kid for the world. My visually sensory seeking, Anime loving, music loving, swing loving, noodle eating, dancing, smiling, kid with an astonishing memory is here to stay and I wouldn't  have it any other way.

Well, I better get to the 6 month old's vaccine appointments. Ugh we will go over that argument a different day. Obviously you already now my stance on it. Right now cereal and coffee are needed.

With Gratitude,
Amber